Saturday, March 6, 2010

Moments in Marriage: The Whole Package

The text message came from my sister, Karen, at 10:03 PM on a Saturday night. “Big ring. Lots of bling,” I read. And then, “I said yes.”

When my sister and her fiancé recounted the details of the proposal over supper the next night, Dana seemed as nervous and excited as a . . . as a . . . as a man in love who wants everything to go perfectly for the love of his life. He was worried about their seating placement in the restaurant. “Oh man, this isn’t going to work,” he thought, seeing a table of loud and obnoxious partying women seated next to them. He was relieved when the women finished their meal and left. “Oh great, I keep getting phone calls and she’s going to suspect something,” he fretted, as each of Karen’s kids called to “check in,” since they were in on the Dana’s plan. “So when is the best time in the conversation to ask her?” he wondered as the meal and evening progressed.

But it all went wonderfully, and Dana, our long time family friend, asked my sister to marry him. They are planning their wedding for the Fall.

It is fascinating to us all, each time it happens:  this meeting, befriending, attraction, and pairing of two individuals busy living their separate lives. Each couple you meet can chronicle the events of their beginnings, and their stories may include emotions, circumstances, situations, glances, words, touches, or gifts. And though I say, “may include,” I think we each actually expect our own story to include it all. No matter our age: whether we are seventeen or forty-seven or seventy, we want the whole package.

We don’t want merely a friend; we want a companion, and not merely a companion, but a lover, and not merely a lover, but a soul mate.  

The unexpected treasure is that when we find the person that gives us all we “want” -- friendship, companionship, romance, and an equal soul -- then we discover that actually our desire is for their highest good, their greatest happiness.

Such is true love.

And may it ever be yours, my dear and only sister.

1 comment:

  1. Beautiful ring given by a beautiful man. This man who has waited 10 years (maybe he has been stalling for 10 years, but this is my comment and I will write what I want!) for me to reconcile my loving him with all my heart while still loving with all my heart my husband who died; he waited for four kids, now young adults, to realize he would never leave them, waited for me to be able to plan a future instead of living moment by moment due to the reality of my possibly dying from breast cancer. He is the true gem.
    Love you my sister.